Masculinity, Heroism, "Alpha Male," and the Son of God
What makes a man a hero?
Search your heart, search your soul, and when you find me you’ll search no more.—“Everything I do, I do it for you”
Chinese culture is built upon these: legends, heroes, and beauties—or rather, these reflect the fundamental desires and pursuits of humanity in our ephemeral life on earth.
Most classic stories—Disney or Hollywood or literature—that resist the erosion of time are love stories between heroes and beauties.
The hero grows from a boy into a man through tribulations, trials, tests of his heart, and the chiseling of his character. A beautiful woman sees his destiny before anyone else does. For love of her—which transcends into love for mankind—the boy lays down his life for what he vows to protect. Whether he dies in the end or not, he’s become a hero.
When I was a child, my mother said I was an idiot to want to marry a hero, because heroes are all over the places and on top of that, they often die prematurely. Their lives serve higher purposes, and for that very reason, they cannot take good care of their own families. Their parents worry about them, their wives concern for their safety, their children admire them in wistfulness.
You would think that at this point I’d agree with her. I would have—if Jesus had never found me.
I’m not an emotional person and am averse to sentimentality, yet tears frame my eyes and I choke each time I think of my Lord and Savior. He is not just my God—whom I serve and depend on—He is my everything.
“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25
By everything, I mean everything, for I did lose everything over the past two years since being born again. I lost my life and found a true, eternal life full of joy, hope, and promises, to which the Lord adds no sorrow.
Not only did I NOT “grow up,” I became even more childlike than when I was a child. As a child of man, I dreamed of fantasies. As a child of God, I not only dream—I believe and know that what I dream is real and will surely come to pass.
Writing an epic fantasy with predominantly male characters keeps me pondering the nature of heroism and masculinity.
When the idea for my novel first took root in me at fourteen, I had no clear concept of what a hero should be. I only knew he must save many lives; he must be a king or a knight; he must be a protector, a promise-keeper, a warrior; he must be wise with excellent self-control and discipline; he must be tough and tenacious; he must endure all things and ultimately die to keep his promise.
As a teenager, I believed the greatest story must be a tragedy—that the hero or heroine must die. I followed this belief in my writing for years, until my salvation revealed this to be an inherited spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3) that preys upon all Chinese people. But for me, the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)—not the beauty of tragedy.
Yet I grasped some truth even then: A hero endures to the end to fulfill his purpose. A hero finishes what he starts. A hero lays down his life for love—a love that transcends romance and overcomes our sinful nature.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” John 12:24
But I didn't know that great, transcending love. I didn't even know romantic love as a teenager. I still didn't understand love in 2023 when I was born again - when I first read in Scripture that "the greatest of these is love."
Now I can answer questions about masculinity and heroism with one simple truth:
Masculinity and heroism are about love. The journey of becoming a hero is the journey of learning to love—and expanding one's capacity to love.
At first, he wants to prove himself worthy to the woman he desires and the world that knows him not, but later on, this selfish ambition and insecure motive will be sanctified as he faces his Creator, secures his identity in Him rather than in accomplishments, and his heart is forever changed by the love of God. As the perfect love of God abides in him, it casts out all his fear so that he is able to finish what he started, to keep his promises, and to lay down his life for those he loves as He has laid down His life for him.
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Jesus Christ is the answer to masculinity and heroism and He defines “alpha male.”
The Son of God, the Lord of lords and King of kings, took the decaying flesh of man, suffered sorrows of this world, and gave up His life so that men shall no more be chained in the cycle of sins and death.
I’ve found the Hero and I’ve married Him.
I’ve found two things I ever wanted in Him—the truth and eternity.
God is a promise-keeper. God is a finisher. God is faithful. God is sacrificial. God is love and light.
If you want to know what a hero is, search no more but in the Protagonist of the Holy Bible. God will never leave you nor forsake you. He never lets go. He cannot lie. He fights for you and has died for you. He knew you before He formed you. He loves you as if you were the only thing He ever created.
For thousands of years, from the beginning when He said, “Let there be light” till now as you are confused and carried away by troubles and lusts of the world, He has been doing the same thing—calling you home so you may spend eternity with Him.
A hero is not complicated, not double-minded, not looking around with wandering eyes—not even very “productive”—but he is fruitful and purposeful, focused and disciplined. He is the priest of one God and the husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2), born and called for one purpose, and all his life he strives to fulfill it, to finish that one race, so he may receive the glory of Christ.
And what is that purpose? What is the measure of greatness?
In the Parable of the Talents, Jesus explained that each person receives a portion according to his ability. Some are called to preach the gospel like Billy Graham; some are called to be priests of their own households. But the one who received five talents was praised just like the one who received two—because both doubled what they’d received. Greatness isn’t determined by numbers—but by multiplication.
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You might convert a thousand people in a single sermon, or you might convert just three of your own children over twenty years—yet those three children will preach the gospel to their children, generation after generation. The good seed you sow in your family will reap a great harvest.
A male largely remains a boy until he takes the responsibility of fatherhood—not just to his own children, but to many he fathers spiritually, serves, uplifts, and chastens.
There’s no “toxic masculinity” because there is no masculinity without love. Love is not feminine nor emotional—the truth is counterintuitive. Love is a decision that needs to be made each day.
And a man must make his decision facing the worries and lusts of this world.
May all the fathers and fathers-to-be remember how you started as a boy—it’s not achievements that crowns you with glory; it’s the strength and purity in your heart and the integrity and steadfastness of your character—these can only be done through love, with love, for love.
GOD has surely given you the gift of writing, well done. I don't have kids or wife, but I still follow Christ example of manhood. I pray daily for a wife, it leaves me very sad to be alone. SEMPER FI,
well am really speechless 💟💟💟💟🦾🦾🙊 I pray you keep increasing in wisdom and never go down