Stop Trying to Control A Man—Just Be A Princess

Martha, Martha, this is the one "femininity coaching" you need to hear.

“Great peace have they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalm 119:165

The desire to control another human being and the anxiety that comes from not being able to do so is, in essence, witchcraft.

Witchcraft is to manipulate others to do what you want.

You argue, “But it’s for their good!”

Really? Are you sure?

How many things have you done for your own good? If you can’t even make wise decisions for yourself, how can you know that what you want for them is truly for their good?

You want to control them—your man, your children, even your girl friends.

Why women can’t help controlling?

Why women believe they are doing it for the good of others?

Why women think the whole world is running because they are worrying about it?

I’ll tell you why—

PRIDE.

A spirit of witchcraft.

A spirit of Jezebel.

I’m not accusing you—I’m pointing out the spirits that are damaging you.

Yes, you. You suffer from these controlling spirits more than those around you.

This is where the majority of your anxiety, insecurity, and panic attacks come from:

PRIDE.

In this article:

• Marys always offend Marthas

• The List of Liberation

• Don’t control, attract

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Marys always offend Marthas

“And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

All the Marthas wish they could be like Mary.

Many of our mothers and church ladies are Marthas, bustling around, hosting, entertaining, cooking, cleaning, shopping—full of anxiety, neurotic, and occasionally hysterical.

Marthas are indignant about those Marys who sweep no floor yet are so favored and blessed.

Marys always offend Marthas.

Dear Martha, your love for Jesus and your care for people are beyond doubt. Out of love, I want to tell you why you try so hard but the Lord does not appreciate it.

Mary is focused, Martha is distracted.

Mary flows, Martha earns.

Mary is fruitful, Martha is busy.

Mary improves herself, Martha impresses others.

Mary relaxes, Martha bustles.

Mary rejoices, Martha worries.

Mary praises, Martha complains.

Mary listens, Martha takes offense.

Mary obeys, Martha praycrastinates.

Mary surrenders, Martha struggles.

Mary gives thanks, Martha begs and cries.

Mary acts, Martha reacts.

Mary sees Jesus, Martha wants Jesus to see her.

And that is pride manifesting as low self-esteem—

Mary is a daughter. Martha is an orphan.

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The List of Liberation

“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5

The same applies to marriage and family.

If you always pray for your husband and children to change, you have a problem with God.

This is how to get right with God—yes, you, not your husband, not your children, you:

• Draw near to God. Do not go to Him just to pray for your husband and children. God needs to fix you too—if not more.

• Submit to your husband. Not because he deserves it, but because you fear God.

• “It is your job to love your husband; it is God’s job to change him.” —Ruth Graham

• Do not weary yourself by thinking about what other people are doing; focus on what you can do today.

• Practice self-control so you have a sense of control over your own life and don’t feel the need to control others. Weight control is the best place to start.

• You don’t know better. Your husband needs your prayers, not your commands.

• The world runs perfectly well without you. Don’t be self-indulgent. Your worth does not lie in worrying about others. You are worthy simply by existing.

• Relax, focus, praise.

• Stub out overthinking. Tread it into the ground. Swat it like a mosquito. Do not entertain it for a second. Don’t pull out a chair for Satan—kick him out.

• Have something going on for yourself—financially, mentally, spiritually. Meditate on Proverbs 31—that woman is resourceful.

• Cross out all the “but what if he…” thoughts in your mind.

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
1 Peter 3:1-2

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Don’t control, attract

Don’t try to catch a butterfly; plant a garden.

Since girlhood, you’ve been eagerly waiting for this or that guy to call. You’ve gotten into the habit of waiting, and as you wait, you wonder what he’s doing, why he hasn’t called yet, and why he hasn’t proposed.

This habit continues throughout your womanhood. Now you’re married, trying to “fix” your husband and your children.

You want to help God make it happen faster, but you only end up getting in His way.

You’re distracted, drained out of your femininity.

Your focus should be devoted to planting and blossoming.

Esther prepared for a whole year for one night; she must look like a beauty queen dummy yet have the wisdom to engage a king.

She couldn’t afford to be anxious about what the king would think of her, what if she failed, what other virgins were doing.

She had only one night. One night, sister.

A queen is focused, and a focused person attracts.

The king’s daughter can always find a husband. —Chinese proverb

(I promise I didn’t make that up)

Don’t waste time wondering what a man is doing.

Stop trying to control anyone in your life—remove the very thought of it.

Fix your eyes on Jesus. Listen and learn from Him. Take out the logs in your own eyes. Be blameless and pure before the Lord. Relax, let go, trust Him. Do something. Think about your own life. Think about where you’re heading, how can you multiply what God has given you. Think about wisdom. Think about how to be more like Christ.

When you become like Christ, you will be the light, the salt, and a city built on the hill that cannot be hidden—they will come to you.

All things will fall into place if only you fix your eyes on Jesus, if only you are focused—

if only you are humble enough to stay focused.

Dear Martha, come sit with me at the Lord’s feet. All things are falling into place.